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Thursday, 1 October 2015

Battle of the Bulge after having Babies

My little boy Dylan was born just 12 weeks ago in a hurry at 7 weeks early (due Aug 24th) and so far i have really been putting off dieting and exercising of any kind! For me it just wasn't a huge deal I had bigger things to deal with. Was i conscious about it? Yes very much so! However i tried not to dwell on it too much as having a baby is a joyous occasion and i need to give it time like friends and family said to me you've just had a baby.. give it time, having 2 little ones.. you'll be run off your feet the weight will just fall off! I nod along politely agreeing with them but inside i know there is no way this weight will just 'fall' off. I know my body and how it works this will take alot of work. So back to July and after a stressful birth and having a premature baby in NICU. I decided not to worry about my weight. I wasn't a priority and I have had one enjoyable summer of eating whatever the hell i want and loved it.  Fast forward 12 weeks and i'm struggling to fit into my size 16 jeans!!!! Horrified i just sat and cried. This was awful for me. I have yo yo'd between a uk size 10-14 before but now i need a size 18? This can't happen. At 5ft 2 being overweight is not easy to hide when your small.Something has to be done..

Being overweight is something i have struggled with since i hit my teens. I wasn't massively overweight but i was maybe 2 stone overweight all through my teens an twenties. On and off diets for years none of them ever stuck and so i would comfort eat to make myself feel better and the pounds would pile on again. I had reached 13 stone by this point. Then when i was living in Ireland 6 years ago I felt enough was enough one new year so started calorie counting and doing light exercise. I used my fitness pal app an lost just over 3 stone taking my new weight to 9 stone 10. I felt amazing, bought lots clothes and had bags of confidence. When i moved to London shortly after i was amazed that i was able to keep the weight off. Then 2 and half years ago i found out i was expecting Ethan and my weight just wasn't a priority anymore. I wanted to enjoy my pregnancy and now worry about what i was eating or gaining a few pounds cos in my mind that was gonna happen anyway i mean i was carrying a baby..!

So i did just that.. I enjoyed my pregnancy and ate anything i fancied. I tried not to eat 'for 2' but it was hard as i felt constantly hungry. During that pregnancy i had put on 3 stone...Once i had Ethan it went down to 12 stone but it never came off.. I intended to go back dieting and get those pounds off but again it wasn't my priority. I had just become a new mum for the first time and was learning every day about this new little bundle that had come into my world. My weight took a back seat. Then one year on from then i didn't see the point in trying to lose weight as we had decided to try for a second baby. A few months later we were expecting Dylan and once again i had put on weight. Though this time i stayed away from the scales as it was just too stressful and disappointing to be looking at. Then in August this year i stepped on the scales a few weeks after having Dylan. Scales read: 13 stone 4....!  So again back to square one with my weight.. however i did think i had put on more than that so was a little relieved it wasn't tooooooo bad!

Now.. every Sunday evening i tell myself I'm gonna start on Monday morning. A new me!! But i fail miserably every time. This post may sound like I'm putting huge pressure on myself but to be honest. I need to change. I'm not happy. I don't want to gain any more, i have reached a point where i cry in fitting rooms, my size 16 jeans are now too tight and I'm breathless after taking the stairs. My mum turns 60 in December and we are having a party for her would be nice to lose a little by then. I know it isn't long away but i feel these little goals are important to have something to aim for.

Other goals for me are Christmas. A trip to Amsterdam in January. A summer holiday abroad. Going back to work next yr. Turning 32.

Then there's the big one.. we are engaged but haven't decided when to get married yet. My weight is one thing that has stopped me from getting excited about it. I would like to go to wedding fairs and get ideas and maybe soon put down a date..! However..if i am going to be a bride... This weight needs to go! I have 4 stone to lose as my goal and it won't shift itself.

I think i am going to go back calorie counting on my fitness pal app although i do like the sound of slimming world as well so might join them as the weigh in's and groups might be of help to me so i can't cheat badly and give up, going to the group each week will be an incentive in itself. As for exercise this is a tough one.. because the only time i have free are evenings. So do i join a gym an take a class.... or..... do i just try and go for walks/runs in the evenings. Running I know is the best form of exercise for weight loss but i haven't got a clue where to start or whether or not i can do it. The idea of running is a scary thought!

Even though i have lost weight before i feel like i have forgotten how to do all of this...! Being pregnant for 2 years has definitely slowed down my brain now its time to get my ass in gear and do this....

Anyone in the same boat? Or have any tips and tricks on how you lost weight?

Hope your having a good day!

Kerrie xx

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